A new year, a new blog. I’ve been writing my book, which I haven’t got a title for yet, and somehow I just felt like I should share my experiences a little bit. No one is reading this now, but maybe I can link it on Fictionpress or something to start a small following. I would just like to share my stories somehow and even though I haven’t been on FP in such a long time, I do miss it.

The past four years in college have been disappointing for me. I didn’t blossom as I was promised I would–not in any way that I think I should have anyway. Sure, I am more confident and sure of myself, but did I really need college for that? Now that I’m out, I think my only regret is not finishing a piece of writing or improving my writing more.

I’ve only recently begun to study how to craft a scene or create more compelling characters. I wonder why I didn’t do it before? Laziness, probably. I tried to blindly stumble through a manuscript once and I finished it, then I didn’t look at it ever again. I didn’t even care about any of the characters. I don’t mind revising, it’s just that, somehow ripping apart all that work seems like a waste. If I had gone in with a plan, maybe things could be improved upon or made deeper, but if I made this book because I just wanted to get to the end, I probably did it with a lot more bullshit than thought. And that’s what I feel like when I write without a plan, a bullshitter.

A fraud.

I almost hope that my temp job will end soon so that I can dedicate this summer to writing.

In other job prospects, I am trying to get this sample ready for a book company. I’m afraid it won’t be good enough or that they will think my characters are flat…But then, the other part of me is telling me to go for it and that the worse thing that can happen is a rejection. And what are rejections anyway? Just a ‘no’. Move on to the next door.

I have to knock on the door to have that chance in the first place. Ok, back to writing. If you are reading this, thank you so much. If you came here from FP, thank you even more.


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