Recently, about 3 weeks ago it looks like, judging by my emails to myself, I finished Shadow of a World. I didn’t even want to look at it by that point. It was the ugly offspring of my hopes and my fevered aspirations of finishing a book. I tried so hard along the way to coax it to life, to make SENSE, and the end product was just…not. I knew it wasn’t what I wanted. I could feel it as I wrote every word, getting closer to an ending that didn’t feel true.
So I finished it up. Closed it. Put it on the back burner and started a new novel that while I had been dreaming about for a while, I still felt fresh enough to write.
But SoaW pulled me back. And I’m layering. I outlined the novel as it was and tried to figure out how to tie up the frayed ends. And for once, it feels right.
That aside, I find myself unwilling to read romances in YA anymore. I just keep rolling my eyes. Maybe it’s because they’re not done right but idk seriously. I just don’t care for it. I don’t think it’s because I’m bitter towards love. I absolutely ADORED North & South, SCREECHED over Midnight in Austenland and just about DIED re-reading the Goose Girl. All things that are heavy on the romance!!! Okay maybe not the Goose Girl, but the whoooole series has something to do with the MCs getting hitched. Anyway.
I’m not bitter…?
I just cringe when suddenly the girl’s interest is piqued in this boy who is….neither charming nor likeable. Shrug. I liked Divergent but didn’t care for the love aspect. Yea, Divergent was an AWESOME BOOK THOUGH IDK.
And it’s also not because my own feelings have shriveled and died because…:) I have someone who makes me have the warm and fuzzies for possibly the first time in a long time. Too bad it’s never gonna work out because he’s a recluse but lol I like him. Even if he doesn’t trust me at all or share anything about himself. Is that weird? That’s pretty weird. But I’m not into all the gooeyness of sharing and caring either. Declarations of love just strike me as false a lot of the time.