Some heavy thoughts this morning.
I thought of all the people I’ve wronged. The times I acted childishly instead of taking the mature route. The pseudo-flirtations where I was over eager and rushed things.
I have such a short attention span. I’ve come to notice that while trying to get actual work done. Even while reading, I flip to other things, clean, look at other books, look at my phone and boy I am just….not getting much done. It’s a lifestyle born from my addiction to my computer I think…I mean, not that I can blame it for my shortcomings, but gosh it’s so easy to look at a million things at once on the internet. I get frustrated when I don’t have a constant stream on my Tumblr dashboard to occupy me at all times.
My friend thinks about things thoroughly before he does anything. He always considers his answers before telling them to me. So while I was talking a mile a minute with him last night about a recipe, he was still back on the cut of meat I first described.
And that’s when you forget how long a mile actually is. When your car can do it for you in just under a few minutes, you just forget that once upon a time, people couldn’t even leave their towns to meet others.
I’m always dreaming, I’m always really far away. And then I come back to the present and I’m frustrated because my mind has taken me too quickly into the future and time is crawling by comparison. Sigh.
I kept thinking of ways to get closer to my friend. But I’m rushing things again. I don’t want to make the mistake I made last time. But I don’t know how to take things slow either.