If I could go back in time to give myself advice, it’d be this: Fuck. High. School. I’ve reached a point in my life where I can love myself enough to say that the ONLY regret about that period of time is that I cared so much about shit that didn’t matter. Pep flags? Drama? Grades? Teachers hate you? Wondering why you can’t fit in?
No. NO. NO.
Past self, you poor, love-starved girl, I wish you had a clue.
Writing the book I am now, I had to delve a lot into the girl that I once was, tap into that insecurity and anguish and it just brings out anger in me every time. Girl, the only thing you needed to know was that you were GOOD ENOUGH and NO ONE could change that. You were the one who gave permission to others to make you feel any less than that, but you were also the one who had the power to take it back.
I had some semblance of this idea, but I wasn’t strong enough then to implement it.
Build your foundation. Maybe that’s your family or your friends, but don’t let anyone tell you that you’re stuck with either. Don’t be a dick either–EVERYONE is struggling, even the bitches you thought had it all.
I was so insanely jealous of this one girl in my high school. She was pretty, funny, and was really smart. I was so jealous that I hated her.
She wound up anorexic and almost flunking out of school. Yea.
Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle. It’s hard to expand beyond that circle of people you personally know. Most people in the world is just a background character in the show that is your life. And that’s a good thing, if only for your sanity, because you will crumble if you spread yourself too thin.
But be kind to the bag boy at your super market.
Be kind to the telemarketer who calls.
Be kind to your stupid co-worker.
We are all human and more alike than different.
AND FUCK HIGH SCHOOL. Stop glorifying it, it wasn’t as good as you remember. Even if you had friends. Even if you didn’t have life shattering problems. Youth is clumsy and painful–it’s part of the past and you KNOW that just one year ago you were stupider than you are now.
And that’s all for today.